“In My Darkness, Light”
“Don’t look for peace. Don’t look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender”
― Eckhart Tolle
I find my life, at present, troubling, I struggle for direction and find myself torn between a multitude of emotions: anger, sadness, grief, disappointment, and betrayal to name a few. I am uneasy about the future, the world around me. It’s a maelstrom of sensations I have not felt before. It seems like negative thoughts and emotions may at any time overwhelm me. And then, beacons of brightness remind me of the path forward. My family is there, trying to comfort me and I hear their words and feel their concern. This is a temporary moment, a juncture of the unfamiliar, yet ahead is brightness and hope. I know this in my heart and need to get my head to follow.
I have been blessed with not just abilities and skills but good and caring people, and as I sit writing these words, trying to make sense of things that make no sense, I’m able to draw on my art, my images, the words and actions of the good people in my life and put things in perspective.
The world I live in is alive and filled with good and joyful things, I just need to remember them, constantly. Images, like this one, as I let the image fill me, remind me of so many of those experiences, they help ground me.
There is a reason for me being in this place and time, just like there was a reason for me being at the place and time when I made the photo, and I find they are weaving together to help me make sense. The word “surrender” echoes through me, not in an “I give up” sense, but rather, I “accept” this moment for what it is, a mere step on the journey. I may have stubbed my toe, but that will heal and I will move forward, stronger for the experience. Despite what feels like darkness, there is always light, I just need to keep focussed on it and appreciate it for what it is, then the darkness seems less dark.
Tamron SP AF 90mm f/2.8 Di Macro 1:1 (272ENII)@90mmm
1/4 sec, f/22.0, ISO 400
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